You’re invited: Dining Skills for the Savvy Professional (DC metro)

NEVER lose another deal – blow another job interview – or miss out on another high-level opportunity – because of a totally preventable dining etiquette disaster! Etiquette in business is much more than knowing which fork to use when dining or how to greet clients when at lunch. To be sure you don’t get embarrassed in business, you must present yourself as a savvy professional to be taken seriously, move ahead more easily, and win more often.

In a fun and active atmosphere, learn the skills you need to navigate through casual and formal dining situations. Learn how to recognize and use all types of flatware, table settings, conversation topics, toasting, handling mishaps, host and guest duties and much more. Four course meal included in participant fee.

Personally led by international etiquette and protocol expert Cynthia Lett, this program has been called “Engaging, smart, funny, and incredibly useful and relevant to any level of professional in any industry.”

DATE: December 2, 2009

TIME: 6:30pm – 9pm

VENUE: Doubletree Hotel and Conference Center, Bethesda, Maryland USA

REGISTRATION: $175

Register Here:

http://www.professionalsavvy.com/dining-skills-for-the-savvy/

How To Work A Room With Ease

BWSmallBiz — Etiquette October 9, 2009, 5:00PM EST text size: TT

Tips for networking among strangers

Jan Feindt

By Louise Lee

Small Biz

HUNGRY?

If you arrive hungry or thirsty, hit the buffet first. Eat quickly, finish, and only then start working the room. Don’t try to juggle a drink, a plate, and business cards, and shake hands. Wash or thoroughly wipe your hands before you get started. Who wants to shake a sticky hand?

I WANT IN

If two people are deep in conversation, don’t interrupt. “Wait for one of them to turn toward the room, and that’s your signal,” says Cynthia Lett, an etiquette expert in Silver Spring, Md. Then make eye contact with one of them and introduce yourself. He should introduce you to the other person, but if not, do it yourself. Repeat your full name, which the other person may not have caught.

PLEASE MEET…UHHH

You’re introducing someone you just met and can’t remember her name. Own up to it, says Lett. Look her in the eye, smile, and say, “I’ve met so many interesting people and your name is on the tip of my tongue. Please remind me?” Don’t try to wriggle out with, “You two know each other, right?”

GOTTA GO

If you want to check out of a conversation, try: “I know you want to meet others, and I’m glad we had a chance to speak. I wish you well with your project.” If you intend to get back in touch, say so, even just with a simple, “I’ll give your office a call next week.” If you shook hands at the start of the conversation, extend your hand again. What if you sense that the other person wants to exit? If she’s looking over your shoulder, take the hint quickly, say that you hope you’ll meet again soon, and turn away. And if someone practically dumps you midsentence? Let him go. Don’t follow.

CARD DEALING

Don’t come out and ask for a card, since the other person may not want to give you one or may have run out, and you don’t want to embarrass her. Instead, say, “How may I reach you?” and let her give you a card or offer some contact information. If someone does give you a card, exchange yours. And there’s no polite way to reject a card you don’t want. Accept it—with thanks.

Lee is a correspondent in BusinessWeek’s Silicon Valley bureau.

“Thank you” – instead of a ticket

Thank you to Open Loops Blog for this interesting post.

I believe that anytime you can say Thank You to someone – for whatever they may have done,  it will be positive for both parties.

Town Experiments With Thank You Notes

News & Observer | A ‘Thank You’ Instead of a Parking Fine: Chapel Hill Takes a New Approach

After the last few posts dealing with saying, “Thank You!”, it was with interest that I noted that the town of Chapel Hill, North Carolina is experimenting with Thank You notes.

When ticketing those who have overstayed their parking meter time, Chapel Hill usually tickets the cars, with each ticket resulting in a $15 fine.  Of all cars ticketed, 33% of them are first-time offenders.  However, town officials decided to try something unique: first time parking offenders will receive a “Thank You” note.

“First-time parking meter violators in and around Franklin Street won’t find a citation on their windshield if their meter runs out.

Instead, they’ll find a note, saying “Thank you for visiting downtown Chapel Hill.”

On Wednesday the town began a “courtesy ticket” program that dismisses first-time violators’ $15 citation.”

The city stands to lose over $12,000 in lost fines, but stands to gain more repeat visitors and shoppers.  In the city that UNC-Chapel Hill calls home, this simple act says to parents, relative, visitors, tourists, and shoppers, “Welcome!”

Personally, I like spending my money where I feel welcome.

What about you?

via: digtriad.com: Thank You Notes Left for Parking Violators Instead of Tickets in Chapel Hill

image: digtriad.com

Manners reborn: why a new generation prefers etiquette to ecstasy …

From the Hearald Scotland

Manners reborn: why a new generation prefers etiquette to ecstasy … * etiquette *  By Edd McCracken

Published on 11 Oct 2009

By Winston Churchill’s logic, being young and conservative is almost unnatural. “Show me a young Conservative and I’ll show you someone with no heart,” he said. But according to a new survey, a startling proportion of young people are confounding Churchill’s wisdom and wholeheartedly celebrating traditional conservative values. They believe in the importance of manners, espouse the joys of the family unit, and, most surprising of all, more than three quarters believe that the country has changed for the worse. The survey found that 77% of 18-24 year-olds believe that Britain has declined in its standards over the last 20 years. Family breakdown, individual greed, and less discipline in schools were given as the three main reasons for this slide. Taking a further leaf from the past, the same age group rated basic good manners as the most important values in society. Vacating your seat on the bus for the elderly, saying please and thank you, and children showing respect came top. Also, when asked what 18-24 year-olds considered important past times for society, the vast majority said spending time with the family on day trips (71%), dining together (64%), and playing traditional board games (66%). The echoes of Conservative leader David Cameron’s speech this week at his party’s conference are obvious. In the course of making his point that “society begins at home”, Cameron asked: “Why aren’t we building homes with enough room to sit around a table and actually eat a meal together.” Does this mean that the young people of Britain are becoming more conservative in their outlook and traditional in their interests? After all, Churchill went on to equate being old and a Liberal with not having a brain. So, has a young generation rapidly matured?

Lois Turnbull, 24, from Kelso, recently graduated from university in Newcastle. She is one of the apparently growing number of young people who believe the country has been in decline. “Certainly over the last 10 years,” she said. “I remember starting primary school – we very much respected the teachers and their word was law. That seems to have gone downhill. Pupils don’t respect teachers anywhere near as much. We need to get discipline back into schools.” She added that while “family values should be at the heart of society” the family unit had been weakened. “The government seems to support single parents more than it does the family unit,” she said. Most of her friends feel the same. “But for a while now people haven’t been listening to the young people,” she said. “We should make it known that we do think that spending time with your family is incredibly important. ” Other young people were more sceptical about the survey. “I wouldn’t have expected so many young people to think the country has changed for the worse,” said Derek Couper, 18, chairman of the Scottish Youth Parliament. “But that might just be a reflection of the older generation feeding the idea to younger people that Britain has gone downhill.” Experts in manners and traditional past times have reacted warmly towards the findings, which was conducted on behalf of the Chelsea Building Society.

William Hanson, who at 20 is regarded as the UK’s youngest etiquette expert, said he was surprised and heartened by the news that manners were valued so highly by young people. “This is encouraging that young people have realised that manners are a good thing and it will open doors for them, both literal and metaphorical,” he said.

When Insults Had Class

Because I am an etiquette expert, people are careful about what they say and how they say it when around me.  What they should know is that the top experts in proper etiquette understand human behavior well and we find the humor that is apparent in most interpersonal exchanges.  This list was sent to me by a friend who understands this and knows I do too.  I hope you enjoy it.

When Insults Had Class    

These glorious insults are from an era before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, “If you were my Husband I’d give you poison,”
and he said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
“Sir, you will either die on the Gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
“That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”

“He had delusions of adequacy.”

- Walter Kerr

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
- Winston Churchill

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”
- Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
- Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”
- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”
- Moses Hadas

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”
- Abraham Lincoln

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
- Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
- Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. If you have one.”
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… If there is one.”
- Winston Churchill, in response.

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”
- Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
- John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”
- Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.”
- Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
- Paul Keating

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.”
- Jack E. Leonard

“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.”
- Robert Redford

“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.”
- Thomas Brackett Reed

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”
-Charles, Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”
- Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
- Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
- Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
- Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts…for support rather than illumination.”
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”
- Billy Wilder

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening But this wasn’t it.”
- Groucho Marx

Does What We Wear Matter?

Are We Judged By What We Wear?

Can’t people look past my fashion sense and see the real me?

The answer? Rarely.

Researchers have come up with scientific evidence to support the theory that what we wear makes a huge difference in how we influence the world around us. It’s what you always suspected: The guy down the hall who doesn’t know half of what you know and was promoted to Director got the job not with his brain but his wardrobe.  He looked the part so it was easy to picture him doing the job. In situations such as job interviews, court appearances, sales presentations and first dates it is important to make not just a good, but a great first impression for maximum credibility and authority.

Behavioral scientists tell us that the effect of a first impression is a strong one. The judging process takes only seconds and you usually don’t know consciously that you are doing it.  If you make a bad first impression, it could require an enormous amount of effort and time to erase the stigma.

Why not take advantage of the research on human nature and utilize the knowledge to enhance and control how you are accepted? Since about 90 percent of you is covered by apparel, the clothing you choose makes a significant impact. Wearing what is appropriate for the occasion, what fits well and looks stylish and what enhances rather than detracts from your attractiveness can be the strongest asset you have.

Lack of civility is bad example – Washington Times

This wonderfully written article in today’s Washington Times reflects my own opinion about recent incivilities in the sports world reported on in the news.

HAGELIN: Lack of civility is bad example – Washington Times

Shared via AddThis

Protocol Training Seminar Oct. 1&2

If you work in a protocol office or if you plan international meetings, you will benefit from Managing Protocol Issues, our 2-day seminar which will be offered in Bethesda, Maryland on October 1-2 at the Doubletree Hotel and Meeting Center.

I am also allowing individuals who just want fine dining training to join our group for the dining tutorial Thursday, October 1st at the hotel.

To learn more about either seminar, visit www.professionalsavvy.com.  You can register securely online if you like or call our office at 301-946-8208 to register.

Spa Etiquette in Japan

Private, open-air spa at the Hakone Suishoen hotel.

(Takehiko Kambayashi)

Japan: Cultural shifts in spa etiquette

By Takehiko Kambayashi | Christian Science Monitor Correspondent 08.28.09

HAKONE, JAPAN – Dipping in a hot spring is a Japanese obsession. In summer, many people head for a spa resort like this mountain town, 50 miles southwest of Tokyo, to relax in a communal bath.

A spa bath may accommodate 30 or even 100. Japanese people say they get therapeutic benefits and indulge in chatting with strangers in a bath.

Japanese have a long tradition of same-sex bathing with everyone in the nude, a concept called hadaka no tsukiai (naked association), says Teruyuki Murase, an official at the Gero-Spa association, a major hot spring region in central Japan. “We take it for granted since our childhood.”

That’s changing, however. Since most hot springs only have single-sex bathing areas, some families and couples want a private bath in a hotel room or a reserved bath to enjoy together, say hotel mangers.

To meet this demand, hotels have been adding guest rooms with a private open-air hot-spring bath attached. Some new hotels, like Hakone Suishoen, have such baths in every room. They are reaping a windfall even amid recession as they also attract non-Japanese tourists.

“We have an increasing number of visitors from the US and Asia,” says Yayoi Naka, a manager at Hakone Suishoen. “Our overseas guests give priority to a spa in a room.”

A growing number of foreign tourists want to experience Japanese hot springs, says Mr. Murase. But “Westerners hesitate to be naked in the presence of others. Naked association is not Western culture.”

When Queen Elizabeth II Comes To Your Town…

Etiquette experts give advice on royal treatment; abrazos discouraged

By Loydean Thomas – Express-News

Originally published on May 17, 1991.What do you do when the queen of England comes to call?

The thing to do is be yourself but don’t overdo it, experts agreed Thursday.

“You mustn’t rush up and try to break through crowds to get presented when you’re not supposed to be presented,” said Leticia Baldridge, author of a book on correct behavior.

“Just be a hospitable Texan is the safest rule. Smile and wave but don’t let her take over. We’re not a colony anymore,” was the tongue-in-cheek response of Liz Carpenter, Lady Bird Johnson’s former press secretary.

The queen can’t abide the abrazo, or hug, warned Abelardo Valdez, a Floresville native who was Jimmy Carter’s chief of protocol.

“They understand that Americans are a different breed, especially in the Southwest, where the abrazo is almost required. But, no, you don’t touch the queen, except you shake her hand if she extends her hand. You wait for her to take the initiative,” Valdez said from his law office in Washington.

Baldridge, the social secretary in the Kennedy White House and author of a revision of “Amy Vanderbilt’s Book of Etiquette,” said Queen Elizabeth II probably will do a walk-through at a reception in her honor Tuesday at the Institute of Texan Cultures.

“She will get presented here and there, but people shouldn’t try to knock others down to try and get presented when they’re not supposed to be,” Baldridge said.

“She will have gloves on. If you’re wearing gloves, you take the right glove off. Don’t give a gloved hand to the queen.”

If you are bare-handed and up to your elbows in munchies?

“If you’re eating hors d’oeuvres and you’ve just had a sort of mayonnaisey little sandwich or a shrimp dripping in cocktail sauce, be sure you wipe your hand before you take hers. She has probably had a lot of hors d’oeuvres on her poor hand,” Baldridge said.

You say: “Your majesty, it’s such an honor.” Or “Your majesty, it’s such a pleasure,” Baldridge said.

To the duke of Edinburgh, you say: “Your royal highness, it’s wonderful to meet you.”

“And that’s all you say,” Baldridge said.

If the queen is going to make conversation, she might say something like: “This is such a lovely town. I am fascinated by its history.”

“Then you could offer some nugget about the history of San Antonio. Just make a tiny bit of conversation,” Baldridge said.

The etiquette doyenne says it is best not to call her majesty “Queeney,” as does happen from time to time.

“If, by mistake, you call her ‘your royal highness’ instead of ‘your majesty,’ don’t think it’s the end of the world. “She is a delightful lady, very petite with beautiful skin. She doesn’t photograph well. She’s so much prettier in person, you’ll see that.”

Carpenter, who lives in Austin, is on the guest list for functions honoring the royal party in that city.

“I’m going to have to resist telling the queen that I knew her mother, but I have a marvelous picture with the queen mum taken the year I was president of the Women’s National Press Club,” Carpenter said.

“There’s no way I can say anything except, ‘Your majesty, we’re glad to have you here.’ But I don’t know how she picks up many facts about the world if that’s all anybody can say to her. I guess she’s very well-read,” Carpenter said.

A few final words of advice were offered by Shirl Thomas, assistant to Mayor Lila Cockrell:

“You call the queen ‘ma’am’ and the duke ’sir’ on second reference. Americans on American soil don’t bow or curtsy. Just treat the queen like any distinguished visitor. We in San Antonio are used to entertaining distinguished visitors.”