More Than Enough Examples of Annoyances
By Nancy Van Valkenburg, Standard-Examiner, Ogden, Utah
Sep. 13–Author and etiquette expert Cynthia W. Lett was flooded with pet peeves when she made it known she was writing a book on the topic.
“Some people let everything bother them, and they really need to get a grip,” said Lett, a Washington, D.C., writer and on-air contributor to Fox News Channel, Fox Business Network and radio talk shows nationwide.
“People wrote in about coworkers who clip their toenails at work, who talk on cell phones in elevators, or who pop their head over cubicle walls,” she said. “I call that last one gophering.”
People wrote in about bosses whose lack of spelling skills was revealed in memos; about dinner companions who criticized another’s entree selection; about waiters eager to share their life stories; and about clerks happy to take customer phone calls while customers waited at the checkout.
People chronicled their dislike of the phrases “whatever” and “my bad,” and the Internet message abbreviation “lol.” They complained about guests who chipperly suggested house tours, or about acquaintances who call them “dude.” Writers took issue with people who ate pizza with a knife and fork, or who ordered a fattening dessert and a diet soda.
“The funniest one I put in, and it still makes me giggle, is a guy who got upset when he had to drive by a pig farm in 95-degree weather,” Lett said. “Drive another way. Roll your windows up.”
(Lett’s personal pet peeve: Guys who wear their pants so low the waistband “starts around their ankles.”)
In “That’s So Annoying: An Etiquette Expert on the World’s Most Irritating Habits and What To Do About Them” (Skyhorse Publishing, 2009), Lett offered advice that ranged from laughing off the offense and moving on with your life to confronting the offender in a positive, nonthreatening way that would not cause embarrassment.
“We have a right to say ‘This isn’t going to bother me, I’m not going to let him get me,’ but we also have a right to teach people what is acceptable behavior,” Lett said. “We do teach other people how to treat us, and if they treat us badly, it is because we are allowing it.”
Here are some of the personal peeves people sent in, along with the solutions Lett offered in her book:
–Problem: It’s frustrating being nickeled and dimed at the office for someone’s charity or for a gift that everyone is chipping in on.
–Solution: If you are asked to give money to some charity or gift, and you don’t wish to participate for whatever reason, you have the power to say “no.” But say it nicely. “I hope you get enough for what you intend to buy, but I can’t participate at this time. I will be happy to sign the card” should be sufficient response. No explanation is necessary, and actually, it would be better if you didn’t offer one.
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–Problem: Drivers who go through residential neighborhoods with their radios up full blast and cars rocking are extremely annoying.
–Solution: Just smile and drive on. If you are in your house, busy yourself with something else or turn up the TV volume. They will be gone shortly.
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–Problem: I think it’s obnoxious when people pick things off of your clothes while they are talking with you, without your permission.
–Solution: Tell the person “Thanks,” but that the next time you have lint on your clothes, he should just tell you and not go grabbing for it himself. It is important to make your boundaries known to others.
* * *
–Problem: I’m frustrated when someone talks to you without giving you a chance to speak, and when you try, they get mad.
–Solution: If your conversation is turning out like this, it would be best to smile and say, “It was nice talking to you. Maybe we can continue our conversation another time.” There are people who just like to hear themselves talk, and having someone in front of them is more socially acceptable than talking to themselves and the air around them.
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It's Apropos! 